28 January 2022Festive seasons like Chinese new year are wonderful opportunities to spend quality time with relatives and bond over delicious reunion dinners. But, for some, the flurry of visitations can be a stressful experience, especially if you’ve got little ones in tow.
We are all too familiar with those nosy relatives that pry just a bit too much — the ones that used to ask when you’ll tie the knot, and when you’ll be having a baby. For breastfeeding mums, get ready for the oncoming questions about your breastfeeding journey and choices. If you’re concerned about having to deal with touchy topics, don’t worry. Here are a few tactics to help you handle nosy relatives at family gatherings with confidence.
1. Prepare Your Responses
Since you’re anticipating questions from relatives, it doesn’t hurt to think of how you can reply before meeting them. That way, you won’t be caught off guard and end up stuttering out an answer in the heat of the moment. Just like how a job candidate would prepare for an interview, it pays to be ready ahead of time for what’s to come.
Some of the classic breastfeeding-related questions you might receive from relatives include:
- “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable breastfeeding with a cover or in another room?
- “Are you sure you can eat that when breastfeeding?”
- “Have you considered bottle-feeding instead?”
In most cases, your best bet is to remain polite, friendly, yet intentionally vague with your response. You could always say something along the lines of, “I’ve thought about this carefully, and I believe this is what works best for me.” Alternatively, you could always laugh it off and feign ignorance with a casual, “Hmm I’m not sure!” to discourage them from digging deeper.
2. Communicate Your Boundaries
Your relatives’ interrogation might come off as bothersome or even hurtful, but most of the time, they probably mean well. Many of them could be asking their questions innocently without ill-intent, or they might simply be unaware of your boundaries. After all, they are family members that care about you and your well-being, along with your baby.
Remember that you should never feel obligated to discuss things you don’t feel comfortable discussing. There’s nothing wrong with firmly establishing your boundaries with your extended family with a polite, “I’d rather not discuss this now,” or “I’m not really comfortable sharing about that.”
3. Change the topic
As the saying goes, “the best defence is a good offence.” Draw the focus away by changing the subject and asking your relatives about what’s going on in their lives instead! People generally like talking about themselves, so show your loved ones genuine interest in them and they might just forget about their nosy questions. Or, if you’re feeling cheeky, you can always turn the tables and ask them a couple of personal questions too!
4. Take a Break
Family gatherings can be overwhelming, not to mention the added pressure of answering relatives’ questions. Taking a quick break can help recentre yourself and bring your awareness back to the present. Step out for some fresh air or spend a few minutes in the washroom to splash some water on your face. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and soon you’ll feel more energised to rejoin the family activities once more.
Nerve-wracking social situations aside, it is important to take care of yourself amidst busy festive celebrations. Take the time to do some much-needed self-care, and remember to nourish your body with foods for lactating mothers such as Marian Lactation Boost’s lactation cookies.
